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SCAFFOLDS MATCH

TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH

Tag Champs

Insane Clown Posse

Vs.

Experts of Excellence

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(A camera shot of the tops of the heads of our favorite announcers Jim Ross and of course Jerry Lawler. Everyone knows about Ross's continuing battle of the receding hairline, but is that, could it be, is it possibly a bald spot on Jerry Lawler's head?)

Lawler: What the hell is the camera man doing up there?

Ross: He's getting a shot of what the participants of our next match aregoing to have to deal with. They are going to be fifteen feet in the air on two sides by side scaffolds. This is the Unstable Tower match.

Ross: It is the first scaffold match in the CWO's existence, I think we will all remember tonight's match.

Lawler I would hope so, it is going to be sweet!

Ross: Well not only that, but for it's inherent brutality, in fact both participants are almost admitting themselves into the hospital.

Ross: The rules for tonight's match are as follows: First there are two scaffolds instead of one, and they are only 15 feet above the ring.

Lawler: Two Scaffolds? It only looks like one to me.

Ross: Well believe me Jerry, there are two of them up there, they are just really close together but they each have separate support systems. Once the men get up there, I'm sure that the scaffolds will start swinging and we'll be able to see the distinction. One other thing is how it is won. Tonight to win the match, both members of a team must be thrown off the scaffolds and be on the ground at the same time. So theoretically a man could be thrown off the scaffold and then climb backup and re-enter the match, but I don't see how a man could get up after a fall like that.

Lawler: I don't see how you can get up at all JR. How about the match up between these teams, it seems hardly fair to me.

Ross: Well for one thing, the Insane Clown Posse is the reigning Tag Team Champs who have beaten all comers, besides the EOE. The ICP has fallen to nothing but crap ever since Experts of Excellence came. Here they come now…

(The ICP steps through the curtains enjoying the crowd's reaction to their special theme song. Violent J is carrying a mike with him, but not saying a lot, I don't think he knows, I think his butt better call somebody. Shaggs 2 Dope has a gigantic grin on his face as he slaps hands with some of the fans. He walks towards the ring, looks up and sees exactly how high up the Scaffold is. He looks surprised and scared.Leaning back to look up, he falls over and laughs. Violent J helps him to his feet. Violent J and Shaggs proceed to participate in their customary game of paper scissors rock, but this time it is to see who gets or has to climb the ladder first. Violent J wins, and scurries up the ladder. Dope follows and Violent J remembers the Mic, and just tosses it down.)

(The Experts of Excellent theme song takes over the air in Las Vegas, the hip hoppy beat brings on a round of booes. Derek the Body and Billy the Kid step through the curtains. They are accompanied by Curt Hennig. Body and Kid step into the ring and prepare to ascend to the unstable Tower above them. )

Ross: The Experts of Excellence have climbed up to the scaffold and are wait for the beginning of the match, the bell rings, and we're under way. The four men are staring each other down.

Lawler: Throw em off Experts!

Ross: That's the whole point Jerry. Kid and BODY look at each other nod in acknowledgment and....and they're shifting their weight back and forth, almost as if they are dancing on the scaffolds. The scaffolds are shaking like a Los Angeles suburb, the two scaffolds bang into each other a separate, and the Posse are thrown off balance by the motion. Both of them drop to their knees in order to avoid losing their footing and plummeting to the ring below.

Storm: A brilliant tactic by the EOE.

Lawler: Welcome here Storm! By the way, those scaffolds aren't very steady.

Ross: I guess that's the unstable part scaffold match. Kid runs towards Violent J, slips behind him, and cinches on a sleeper hold, looks like he wants to slow the big man down to even up the odds a little. BODY runs in and drop kicks Dope. Dope was unfazed by that move, I Don't think BODY got the kind of push off he would have liked off this wobbly scaffold.

Lawler: Yea but then again when do wrestlers ever get as much push as they would like?

Ross: Kid has that sleeper locked in tight on Violent J, but in what I think is a great move, he hasn't turned it into the Suicide Squeeze, keeping his feet on the ground. BODY is hammering on Dope with a series of kicks to the abdomen and backhand slaps to his chest. BODY backs up again, and standing side kicks Dope right in the nose. Dope is wobbling.

Lawler: It's just the scaffolds, Shaggs is fine.

Ross: he may be fine now, but, BODY is sizing him up, he steps back a few steps to the far edge of the right scaffold, as Kid has Violent J occupied on the left scaffold. BODY runs in and baseball slides right into Dope's well Dope's umm

Storm: Crotch?

Ross: Ya that's it, He baseball slid right into Shagg's crotch. Shaggs is in a scary little heap now. BODY measures him up, and drops and elbow on his chest. Dope has been taken out really early in this Tag Team Championship Match. BODY is down on all four trying to roll Dope off theedge of the scaffold. He has Dope at the edge....

Lawler: Dope just grabbed the All-American Girl by the throat. Dope sits up and then gets to his knees still grasping BODY by the throat. Even onhis knees Dope is as big as BODY. Dope stands up. He gorilla presses BODY and walks towards the end of the Scaffold. It looks like lights out for that little punk. Dope tosses him off the end of the scaffold, not even off the side. BODY plummets to the earth...

Ross: Or does he? His feet got caught up in the rope ladder. He's tied up pretty good but at least he didn't make impact with the hard reality of the ring. Kid's back is to the action so he hasn't seen it yet. He still has that sleeper on Violent J. Dope drops a tremendous double axe handle to Kid's neck. Kid has no choice but to let go of Violent J. Dope picks Kid up and snap mare's him onto the other Scaffold. Dope steps across to the other scaffold but...

Storm: His leg slips through the space between the scaffolds. The momentum of Kid being tossed onto the other scaffold caused it to sway, and it's still swaying. Dope's knee was just crushed in between the scaffold. Dope is in serious pain.

Lawler: Stop the match, he could be hurt. This is crazy. But at least Violent J has waken up from his nap. He successfully makes his way to the other scaffold, and places his boot across Kid's throat. Kid is turning blue.

Ross: Jerry?

Lawler: Ok he's turning bluer. Violent J pulls the boot away and leans over to ask Kid if his mother is available for an evening of entertainment after the match.

Ross: Kid didn't take kindly to that comment.

Lawler: Is he mad cuz Violent J wants to steal his date for the night?

Ross: No, but he did just give Violent J a boot to the head for his troubles. Violent J grabs the leg of the still prone Kid and twists. Kid is screaming in pain. What are the other partners up to Jim?

Storm: Well BODY is still tied up in the rope ladder, and Dope is holding his knee after getting it mashed between the scaffolds. Kid has wiggled his leg free from Violent J's vice like grasp. But Violent J responds with a punch in the face. Kid's head bounces off the scaffold. Violent J picks up the lanky youngster and side slams him back onto the Scaffold.

Lawler: Violent J has control of this thing now, he puts his massive body on the chest of poor little, ya right, Kid and wraps his hands around Kid's neck, he isn't going to throw Kid of the scaffold, he is going to humiliate him, by pulling his pants off. J is starting to pull the down! His head exploded!!! Did you see that his head exploded in a Blue haze, he couldn't live without his pants on!

Ross: No you idiot, that was Kid's last ditch weapon, he spits out a blue mist, he calls it Kid Juice! He told me about it before the match. Violent J's eyes must be burning because he's dropped to the scaffold, everyone ends up rolling in pain in this match. Dope has regained his feet, but just as he gets steady footing. BODY Swift pops his head up, he freed himself from the ladder and is getting back into the fight. Dope backs off a bit, a side of Shaggs we haven't seen before.

Storm: Kid and BODY are conferring as to what to do next. Kid has just laid down on the scaffold and grabbed Body's feet, dropping him with a double leg takedown.

Lawler: Idiot, he's attacking his own partner.

Ross: no, I think this is it guys, Kid sits up and then leans back, launching BODY through the air right at Dope. BODY hits Dope with a shoulder block. Dope is out on his feet.

Storm: What a move! The Experts of Excellence walk over to the dazed Dope, and they huff and they puff and they blow. Dope falls right off the scaffold. He's falling right onto...

Lawler: He fell right through the announcer's table, he fell through the Pig-Latin Announcers table. Dope is out of it, and so are those pig Latin announcers.

Pig-Latin Announcer #1: Hovay Ymay awdgay

Pig-Latin Announcer #2: Ouyay Ancay Atthay GainAy

Ross: Violent J has regained his bearings on the scaffold and realizes his partner isn't coming back. It's two on one now, but Violent J looks like he likes that idea. He drops both BODY and Kid with a double clothesline. They pop back up only to be met with another one. They try a double drop kick but Violent J just swats them away. He grabs Kid by the throat again. He lifts Kid up and walks towards the edge. BODY makesthe save by kicking Violent J in the back of the knee.

Storm: A great save by BODY, but the two of them can't mount an offense against this monster. They try to double shoulder block him but he doesn't move, Violent J is bellowing like a diesel engine. Kid and BODY talk it over again. They are playing scissors paper rock again, but why?

Lawler: To see who gets killed first.

Ross: Kid goes with Paper, but BODY counters with a pair of scissors. Kid lost so he's.... He's....

Storm: Walking right off the edge of the scaffold?

Lawler: I told ya!

Ross: He didn't walk all the way off though, he just dropped down and is hanging by his fingertips on the bottom of the scaffold. He's working his way to so he is hanging right underneath the divide of the two scaffolds, but why?

Lawler: Probably the same reason that BODY is taunting Violent J on top of the scaffold. BODY is daring Violent J to come after him. These guys are so Stoooopid.

Ross: Wait, Violent J sees Kid under the scaffold! Here comes Ultimate Warrior!!!

(Warrior comes down to ringside and throws a chair at Kid knocking him down. Derek is watching what is going on as Violent J runs at Body and knocks him off.)

Ross: Unbelievable! It appears that the Insane Clown Posse keeps the belts!!

Ring Announcer: THE WINNERS, AND STILL TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS, INSANE CLOWN POSSE!!!

Storm: Warrior has the microphone.

Warrior: Derek! YOU [Censored] PIECE OF [Censored]! THIS IS FOR WHAT YOU DID TO MY DARKSIDE MEMBERS! YOU SHALL DRINK SOME MOST EXCELLENT PEE!!

(Warrior pulls down his trunks and takes a long whiz all over Derek's face and mouth. Warrior runs back to the locker room area as Jak Jagged stands over Derek and gives him a double middle finger salute like StoneCold does.)

Violent J: PAYBACKS ARE A [Censored]!, MOTHER[Censored]!

Ross: How about that!

Swahili Announcer #1: Click Clack Whir Clack

Swahili Announcer #2: Chip Chirp Clack